Dating advice when to have sex with him
Despite what movies tell us, there's no hard and fast rule about when you should have sex with your new guy for the first time.Maybe it's five minutes after you meet him, or maybe it's after marriage—no judgment!"And when they say they've 'tested clean,' they're usually only talking about HIV. " The easiest way to make this conversation less awkward is to get tested yourself."The most common reason people don't bring up STIs with a potential partner is because they haven't been tested," says Debby Herbenick, Ph.And remember: If he's lying about something as trivial as his job (even if it's just to impress you), he's probably lying about other things too.Sure, a married guy probably isn't going to come right out and admit it, but by asking him directly, you'll put him on the spot enough that he won't be able to lie smoothly, either. But asking four or five specific questions about one topic is an easy way to spot a liar, according to retired CIA covert operations officer B. "After three questions, it becomes difficult to maintain the cover, so we then try to redirect the conversation.Ask this question in a joking manner, and then you can use it as a stepping stone to say, "No, but seriously, are you seeing other women? According to this Infidelity Survey, cheating is way more common among married couples than you might think.)What do you do? This is what a liar will probably do." You don't need to catch him in a fabrication to figure out if he's a liar, just pay attention to whether he starts being evasive when the line of questioning goes too deep.
We talked to the experts, including a former CIA officer, to figure out what answers you need before you get intimate with him—and what the right questions are to see the red flags.
STIs are serious business, and that means that you can't gloss over the topic just because it doesn't match the mood, says human sexuality researcher Nicole Prause, Ph. "Data shows that when people say 'I'm clean,' what they really mean is that they haven't seen any active growths," Prause says.
D., associate professor at Indiana University and author of the newly released book "They know the question is going to get turned back on them.
Get tested yourself, and the conversation will be much easier." (Asking about test history is one of the 7 Conversations You Must Have for a Healthy Sex Life.)Even if this is just a casual relationship, you want to know if he's seeing other women.
And you should, says Herbenick, because—jealousy aside—it's important to know what kind of situation you might be getting yourself into.