Become more intimidating
For instance, practice with “the barista who always seems to get your coffee order wrong or the co-worker who monopolizes every conversation in the lunch room.”3.
So if you’re just starting to act assertively, she said, it helps to start small.Instead of being assertive with your boss or parent, practice with less challenging people in your life, she said.To clarify your values, read through a list of values, and pick three which matter most to you.“Write them down and post them on your fridge, your mirror, your computer and ponder them to make sure they ‘fit’ for you.”2. Most of us find it hard to set boundaries in general, because we were taught to seek approval and please others in childhood, Wingert said.This is because we fear being rejected or losing the relationship, she said.
“The stakes are higher with people you care deeply about, so expressing a difference or a preference can more intimidating because the risk of loss is higher.”“[I]ntimidation, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder,” said Diann Wingert, LCSW, BCD, a therapist and coach with a private practice in Pasadena, Calif.